Distinguish between Tools and Goals
I don’t want to saddle you with my challenges, but it is a good thing and a biblical imperative that people of faith share their lives. That include their struggles as well as the triumphs…
I love languages. As a child I spoke very early, and nobody managed to stop me ever since. I love to put reality into words and to make rich and complicated concepts accessible through formulating it as clearly and simply as I possibly can. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail, but it is as if the process and challenge itself gives me as much joy as a good outcome on it. Most of all I love telling stories. Stories heals, guides, makes people smile and think.
Now here is my struggle. English is not my mother tongue, nor is it my home language. It is the language I am obliged to do most of my work and socialization in currently. I got introduced to English from age 3 and had ample exposure to it ever since. That puts me in a much better position than an immigrant who grew up in a country with minimal English. Even the South African accent, by the notion of having a strong link with Britain, is less pronounced than say a Chinese one compared to Canadian English.
But it is still an enormous challenge. I always prided myself in the fact that I speak Afrikaans correct and use it eloquently. It goes without saying that correctness and eloquence is a notch down in a second language. This, together with the fact that I speak with an accent different from most around me, has gnawed away at my self-confidence-especially my first couple of years in Canada. I want to do it right. I have at times caught myself praying that God will change my accent into a Canadian one. I have a memory of getting emotional shortly after I came to Canada and the waitress being unable to understand what I was saying when I asked for a simple glass of water without unhinging my jaw and dragging the word “water” out the way Canadians and Americans do when they pronounce it.
Some piece of advice I discovered recently has helped me a whole lot on this journey. This advice won’t only help you, should you endeavour to speak another language fluently, but can be translated to other aspects of life as well. The advice was in an article from a linguist that stated that an important finding in the studies of how people learn a language was that people who see language as a tool, rather than as a standard to be attained eventually get to speak a language much better and fluent. See, the perfectionism involved in being overly aware of what is the correct way to speak a language, strips self confidence. It makes learning a language a constant reminder that you do not live up to a standard. As if anybody expects of you to speak a second language perfectly whilst they themselves can barely string two sentences together in theirs! Seeing language as a tool that can get you what you want, open opportunities and connect you to people, makes you more motivated to do your best and acquire better and better mastery of the language according to the findings in this article.
I have put this to the test and can testify that it has an enormous impact on my self confidence. It is though this confidence fills in the blanks when I make a grammatical error or mispronounce. I don’t get that cringing feeling when I notice a mistake, rather an encouraging voice that says: “You are learning all the way. You have come a long way. You can do this!”.
In life we often confuse what should be seen as tools, as end goals in itself. We want to be wealthy, manage to attain wealth and find ourselves more depressed than ever. Why? Because we never defined for what reason we want to be wealthy. Wealth became a gaol while it should have been a tool. We play the dating game religiously and are relentless in our search for a partner. We then find one and feel dissatisfied. Because even marriage isn’t and shouldn’t be an end goal but a tool in the service of something greater like companionship, raising offspring or who knows what.
So, you want to learn to speak a language better? Ask yourself what you want to use that skill for and go plunge yourself in situations where that attainment is up for grabs and forces you to use the language you learned theoretically, in practice. So, you want to earn more money? To buy what with? You want a bigger family? To what end?
Biblically speaking there is an overarching purpose that should guide us in our choices of endeavours. Our life’s purpose is to know Christ. Learning to speak English ever more fluently and eloquently empowers me to preach the gospel to a more diverse variety of people, positioning me to have a deeper understanding of how great and wide Christ’s love is. Should I end up in Germany tomorrow, speaking better German would serve that purpose and my language education should then follow suit.
Dare ask yourself: “Which one of the choices in front of me will eventually, help me to know Christ better?” The answer will not only direct you in difficult decisions, it will also help you to distinguish between goals and tools. And life is much less stressful when you manage to do that!
January 25th 2021