Holy Roller
Holy Roller
I don’t like wearing a clerical collar and rarely do so. What a clerical collar stands for from the vantage point of those that wear them, I can only agree with. It is a sign of commitment and a willingness to identify yourself as a servant of all those who seeks to move closer to faith and Jesus. Some of the most inspiring ministers I know wear them. Desmond Tutu and Mother Teresa to name but two.
The reason I don’t like wearing them however, is not because of the reasons people that wear them list but because of how I fear they might be received from those who see them. I am always afraid that it might convey a message along the lines of: “I am something you are not” or worse “I am a spiritual elite. A mister know it all when it comes to God.” It is true that many don’t have this connotation but not wearing it for the sake of even a few that do have this connotation, makes it worth not wearing in my book. Sometimes I do feel torn. On the one hand I like and would like to convey the message that I am available to assist people in their spiritual journey, that I identify myself unashamedly with the church with all its virtues and vices and stand in a long line of faith hero’s that took their calling seriously enough to make it their occupation. On the other hand I fear that if I do wear it, I would estrange people of worse still, make vivid the pain of the church’s worse sin which is child molestation. So I am conflicted.
For some time I now I have been walking the community surrounding our church. On these walks I pray, ask God to show me things relevant to the local need and our calling as church in this community. I also seek to make small connections with the people I come across like drug addicts, store owners and whoever happen to wander the same streets than I. The problem is that it is difficult in a big busy city to draw out that crucial three seconds extra needed for engagement. How do you tell people in such brief encounters what you stand for or at least give them a glimpse of your intention and desire for good in the community?
So, I reconsidered the good ol’ collar. I decided to experiment with it. I will now wear it every Wednesday on my walks in the community. But I felt this collar needed to be balanced by something. Something that would convey that I am not high and mighty but an ordinary guy that can have fun just as much as I can get down and dirty with the serious, deep stuff of life. So I decided to wear rollerblade my collar walks. Aren’t rollerblades the symbol of easy-goingness and fun? Wouldn’t it compliment and balance a collar perfectly?
These things are so easy to dream out but when it comes push to shove you die a thousands deaths. This morning I put on my church shirt hesitantly. I arrived at church feeling uncomfortable when I greeted the special needs group that share our building. I brought the rollerblades to me office on Monday, knowing well I would easily use them being at home as a way to procrastinate my experiment. There is a small weekly meditative service I attend on Wednesdays at the Local Lutheran church at 12:15. I decided to rollerblade there as it is one of the more quieter routes I do in the community. When a friend and congregant let me know they will also be attending, I nearly chickened out and burned my collar.
I love rollerblading. I like speed and exercise. I rollerblade fairly well but I haven’t mastered braking yet. So, everything went well at first. The teenagers hanging out a block from our church stared in fascination and then smiled and waved. Every single person I passed looked perplexed and then smiled shyly. I like it when people smile. It is beautiful. But then I hit a downhill. I manage to control my skates fairly well but then I approached a student with huge headphones on. Just when I tried to pass her she moved towards me. My one skate hit the grass and I fell, caking my pants in mud (it really was mud, ok!). Shocked, she inquired if I was alright. Would any man of 40 falling in front of a twenty something beauty be all right? But actually, I was. I laughed and she with me. After the service I went back without incident, again drawing smiles along the way.
I have nothing to show for my ministry today. Except a bunch of smiles and a bruise on my hip. But maybe it is not a bad place to start. Maybe the church should only allow their clergy to wear collars if they wear rollerblades with it…or something else that makes people smile.