In a Church Basement Somewhere…
The worship leader at our church has been involved with Celebrate Recovery groups for many years. Recently he took over the leadership of one such group and moved them to our church. He got me involved, so that every now and then I attend a meeting from beginning to end.
I am not a complete stranger to these groups. My mother was a social worker that lead group sessions at a rehabilitation centre in South Africa, the one where I did some of my practical pastoral training as a pastor. Like most I have often seen “My name is Jo and I am an alcoholic…” kind of meetings depicted on film and in books. But recently attending one of these meetings reminded me anew of the important niche these simple meetings, often held on Friday and Saturday evenings in Church basements, play in the life of its participants. I would go as far as to say, and I wouldn’t be the first to state, that these meetings are actually the heartbeat of what authentic church is all about. Instead of seeing it as a sideline and niche-market specific ministry hosted by churches gracefully, they should rather be seen as a ministry showing the church how it should be done. Let me explain why by sharing my experience at the last meeting.
We gathered in the sanctuary like one would for any Sunday evening Worship service. We sang with a band and I preached the same kind of sermon I would on a Sunday, maybe just with more addiction related illustrations. Again and again I am struck by how relevant the gospel is to the main issues involved in addiction. The whole biblical subject of idolatry fits the theme of addiction like a glove. Between the worship and the sermon there are a few principles and steps from the 12-step material that are recited together. Words and ritual have power. They become habits that direct our passions and worship in the right (or the wrong) direction.
But the real holy moment is when the men go downstairs and the woman stay upstairs. Not because of gender division and distinction. Simply because it facilitates a space where people can speak more honestly and freely. At this particular group, the participants were not only made up of alcohol and drug addicted folk but also people that might struggle with other forms of addiction and bad habits.
Every person gets a turn to say something. They start off by stating their name and saying: “I am a grateful follower of Jesus”. And then the person shares from his life what he wants to for as long as he likes to. This all takes place under an agreement of confidentiality and non-judgement from all. The others do not try to fix, interrupt, nor correct the one speaking. They just listen. It is amazing how this latter act makes all the aforementioned fixing, interrupting and correcting totally unnecessary. One guy shared about his addiction to sugary drinks. Another, who has been sober from alcohol for years, shares about his fears about his imminent retirement. Many tell about unpleasant arguments with their spouses and notably almost everybody elaborate on their own wrongdoing in those arguments rather than those of the spouse. One guy explains how his wife’s mental condition makes it very hard to share his feelings with her. A man in his late thirties shares how he suffers under his not yet conquered obesity and nearly lost his life through diabetes recently. He explains how grateful he is just to be alive and how a new sleep apnea device coming his way, gives him hope for a better quality of life.
By the time it is my turn I feel so safe that me too dare to share something personal. This is no small thing for a pastor as we are generally prone to keep our own struggles to ourselves and not show emotion lest we pile on the sorrow of those already struggling. As I share, I feel no guilt, just love and acceptance. Many compliment me on my message but so unlike the way I usually get complimented. Nobody says: “Great sermon”. They say: “You know what you said about that…well just this week…and I am going to apply this next time.” They seem to be more excited about the possibilities of them applying my message than they are with the message itself. As it should be. I love it.
The whole experience reminded me just how hungry I am for authenticity and people who hear each other out without judgement and interruption. This is not only what addicts and former addicts need…this is what I need. This is what everybody needs!
I ride back in the damp cold on my motorcycle. Friday evenings is precious family time to me. I honestly wasn’t eager or excited to come beforehand. But tonight, I don’t feel deprived. I feel blessed. The whole weekend I find it easier to love and listen to my family members better. The dynamic between is more harmonious throughout and we have the best weekend ever.
And I think. These people are my pastor, not the other way around.
Gabriel J Snyman
November 10th 2020