Mystical Hope
Yesterday, I had a difficult day. It is not like externally, anything out of the ordinary crashed. I was fairly productive and ticked away at my to do list but internally I struggled. This internal turmoil came about suddenly. I asked Brenda how long the lock-down is going to last and she said that it’s probably going to go on for at least until the end of May. She hardly said something that isn’t common knowledge and isn’t to be expected but for some reason those words triggered a despair and an irritation in me (fortunately I did not act it out on poor Brenda). The whole day I found myself irritated and agitated…and yes hopeless.
Reflecting on yesterday this morning, I realize that somehow my hope was seated in “this thing” going to be over soon and our lives returning to normal quickly. This is going to end eventually and our lives will find a new and better rhythm some time, so my hope isn’t completely unrealistic. But this morning I read a meditation from Richard Rohr in which he speaks of a different, better and stronger kind of hope that he calls a mystical hope. It is not based on outcome but on presence , on the fact that God is right here with us in this. He describes it as follows:
- Mystical hope is not tied to a good outcome, to the future. It lives a life of its own, seemingly without reference to external circumstances and conditions.
- It has something to do with presence—not a future good outcome, but the immediate experience of being met, held in communion, by something intimately at hand.
- It bears fruit within us at the psychological level in the sensations of strength, joy, and satisfaction: an “unbearable lightness of being.” But mysteriously, rather than deriving these gifts from outward expectations being met, it seems to produce them from within. . .
So maybe, my focus needs to shift. Maybe I should ask myself not when this will end, but what makes life worthwhile and joyful in the midst of this. What will keep me going if this were to last for ten years? Its serving others. It is noticing beauty. It is to live grateful for God’s sustenance in the midst of scarcity.
I need a better hope than an outcome based one. We all do. And there is one. God is our wellspring of an even better hope.
Drink, thirsty one!